Lydia
quotespaper:
Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
Cashier: Are you 18?
Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.

lindsaylohansmugshot:

my friend played the most fucked up prank on her mom and there are tears streaming down my face

gleeksunited-infinity:

zieglerandlukasiak:

brookiemariehyland:

Ellen should win an Oscar for being Ellen

"and the oscar for best ellen degeneres goes to…. ellen degeneres"

"And the oscar for best Leonardo Dicaprio goes to … Ellen Degeneres"

dansnipplehair:

orlandobloomers:

why is this dude wasting his fucking money on cigs when hes not gonna smoke em your fucking metaphor isnt worth that much homie get a job 

buttlicked:

PE doesn’t stand for physical education. it stands for public embarrassment 

lifehackable:

Learn Something New Here

micklovich:

this is the single most pretentious thing ive ever seen in my life im gonna vomit

grizzlynitram:

grizzlynitram:

grizzlynitram:

How does batman’s mom call him inside for dinner?

dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner BATMAAAAN

oh wait shit his mom’s dead i fucked up i fucked it all up